its that time again :D

<a href="http://www.influenster.com/profile/lindsaypeace"><img src="http://widget.influenster.com/83d95a12ff447110993b59e0c104063a.png"></a>

check out influenster.com

feeling blessed...

i always look forward to our Friday nights.

&&&

 no one will ever understand how much i truly love these two. 

Emily, my life partner, my ride or die, the greatest 

most understanding best friend anyone could ever ask for...

and Randal, not only is he my husband, but he is also my best friend, 

my whole world, the love of my life. without these two people, 

my world would fall apart. through the good, the bad, and the ugly..

through tears of sadness, and tears of laughter

....these two, are always there....

and for this, i am eternally grateful.

<3

xoxo

with love,

LuLu

over due update!

i know its's been a while and i'm sorry for that! 

well anyways, i still have been working a lot, 

to make up for the fact that my husband lost his job

i'm still not smoking, 

even though there are many days where i would like to.

we still haven't even looked into moving

considering the financial circumstances,

but it is still in the plans.  

i haven't been to the doctors recently 

because i'm in between insurances right now.

still taking 50mg of Zoloft daily though.

Halloween was fun, besides me falling :(

bruised ribs, bruised wrist, & skinned knee.

I've been trying to dress up and get ready more often to maybe

boost my recently lacking confidence, its been helping...

somewhat.

i'm still vaping, and yes i'm still obessed but...

i'm down to only 6mg and 0mg nic level

for my vape juices :)

Latest obsessions consist of;

the new zero sugar blue agave monster

pregnancy vlogs (mostly DailyBumps)

still vaping!

recently became a fan of CTFxC vlog

hart of dixie<3

xoxo

with love,

LuLu

When I start to feel down

Like things are not going the way I would like them to... Or I don't have enough money, or I'm not thin enough... I forget to think about the positive. I have an amazing husband, an awesome family, and friends I wouldn't trade for the world. I have a great job. A car that runs... And I am a good person. That being said, I'm not perfect and I forget often that being positive gets you further In life even when you feel you have nothing.

it's been a while...

let's catch up.

I've been working A LOT, about 50 hours a week. 

 I've been exhausted and stressed out,

 but with that being said, i still have not smoked a cigarette.

 I've been cig free for 58 days! I am still using the vape, 

but not nearly as much as i was and i cut down the nicotine level.

 I'm very proud of myself. 

at a recent psych appointment i found out you can take 

Zoloft while pregnant which is a pretty huge relief to me,

 they also upped my does to 50mg a day, and i really like the difference,

 i feel really good...well rested even

. I made a huge progression with my baby obsession, 

as badly as i want a baby, i'm not looping on it every day like i was.

 which is a huge relief for me as well. I've decided to try, 

and try being the key word, to enjoy the time i get alone.

 All my life it has been my biggest fear to be alone,

 but in the past few weeks, i'm starting to see the beauty in it..

.im working on it a lot lately but with less pressure on myself...

which has been nice.

Latest obsessions consist of;

peach green tea lemonade from Starbucks
pregnancy vlogs (mostly DailyBumps)
my vape- and the new vape store (Xtreme Vape)

photos of shadows

sleep hypnosis videos...they really work!

you know the usual... 

xoxo

with love,

LuLu

VAPE MAKEOVER...VAPE-OVER!

It's Friday night and as usual  me and bestie are having are weekly sleep over! i got off work, met my hubby, brother-in-law and Em at the bank! i cash everyone's checks for them because apparently i don't associate with anyone who has a bank account of their own. 

 Em took me to a new Vape shop in San Gabriel!!! it's called "Just Vape".

...i got a starter kit...

.a purple vape battery.

.purple and clear tank with a cartomizer.

...a purple fancy tip...

...a USB charger... 

and berry peach tea juice. :)

 and it all came in a cute little black case!! 

i also got randal a new blue and clear tank/cartomizer, black tip and case! Emily got herself all new stuff too! i love this vape life style.

on the left: mine!~~~~~~~~~~~~on the right: Emilys!

we also ordered 10 new juices from a site i found with great prices!

vapealiciousjuice.com

flavors:

1-Cactus Cooler

2-Dead Bears

2-Cuppy Cake

1-Stawberry Lem-A-Laid

2-English Toffee

2-Caramel Capp.

ALL 10 (10ml) juices plus taxes and shipping was only $54.00!! 

[average price is 9 bucks a bottle]

super excited! but now its time for beddy byes. nighty night.

A little over 3 weeks in

I haven't had a cigarette in 24 days! Which feels great and all but there still hasn't been a full day that I haven't thought about just breaking down and having one. Especially the 3rd or 4th of July....

On July 2nd I was a little confused when I hadn't got my period. It was almost a month late (made a little sense considering its only been 2 months since I got off the pill).that evening i finally started!! I was a little relieved, most definitely not because I don't want to be pregnant, but because I know it's not the right time...a lot of goals still need to be met...health wise, and financially...so anyways, I put my tampon in and went to bed. When I woke up in the morning to get ready for work I went to change it and there was only a drop, which is alarming when you're a month late... Again just figured it was off due to getting off the pill, it's now the morning of the 3rd and I go to work...a little crampy turned into a sharp pain in my lower right side so I go to the bathroom and take out the tampon, I'm pushing like I have to go to the bathroom and a blood clot the size of a golf ball comes out and the pain is gone... I get off work and go home and the pain comes back, this time much much worse, to the point where I'm about to black out, same situation, go to the bathroom and push, this time it's a blood clot the size of a tennis ball and looks very full of tissue. At this point I'm crying because it seems like my worst nightmare come true. After calling the kaiser help line, they tell me to wait it out and go in for a DNC in the morning, ruling out all other options and basically diagnosing a miscarriage over the phone...I went to work the next day (4th of July) and left early to take myself to the urgent care for this procedure...I wait for 2 hours in the waiting room, take a pregnancy test, and it comes back negative, which puzzled me....even if it were a miscarriage, it would still be positive... Wouldn't it? The dr comes in and does a pelvic exam an tells me I had what they call (something like) a negative pregnancy miscarriage? I had a minor DNC...cleaned out and tested. Apparently I have something called bacterial vaginosis and acute vaginitis which basically means since getting off the high hormone bc pill my uterus is in shock and my natural bacterias and chemicals are imbalanced causing my body to think it was pregnant...with absolutely nothing. My dr said and I quote "your uterus is sad"...so...antibiotics for a week.... Yogurt and probiotics for a month and we should be back on track, but I still haven't got a real period.....

Goals I want to meet :)

I have a list of goals that I would like to accomplish before I get my life started...some are accomplished, some are in the process of, and some are far off...

Graduate college🎓✔️

Find my dream job💰📊💻✔️

Fall in love👫💕✔️

Get married👰💍✔️

Quit smoking🚫🚬✔️

Get off b.c🚫💊✔️

Get off Zoloft🚫💊

Lose 30ish pounds 🍏🍓🍇

Get my own health insurance😷✔️

Stop drinking regular soda☕✔️

Move🏡👪✔️

New car🚗🚕🚙

Make babies!🍼👶🎈

I will update this as they happen.

Update! Funny how life throws us curve balls, I was just diagnosed with PCOS, just started metformin and will be starting clomid in January if my levels are not improving drastically. The diagnosis is devastating but I finally have answers to ALL my medical problems.... Stay tuned.

I had a pretty good day

I worked 9 hours, without a cigarette! 4 days down and a life time to go :) I'm excited to see what the future holds for me and my future family. I hope my future child knows how the thought of them has made this decision that much easier. 

After work I met em at Mikey's house and hung out with them, Ruben and beena! It's been a while :) I missed everyone so much! We all tried each others vapes and I'm excited to get new flavored and different nicotine strengths :) 

Then em took me to eat at Los victors? :) yummmmmy! I know without actual cigarettes my weight is going to get confused....one thing at a time though.

One goal at a time :) 

Smoke free is the way to be

Today is day 3 no cigarettes. It's been tough!thank god for this vape!

 Cons: Chills, sweats, irritable, upset stomach, headache, and anxiety!!

Pros: the obvious I will no longer be a smoker, saving money, my sense of smell is coming back, taste buds are coming back, using teeth whitener isn't a waste of time...and most importantly I'm preparing a healthy crash pad for my (hopefully not too far off) future baby. :) 

So the pros are definitely out weighing the cons as of right now and I've made it through the hardest part they say. So lets keep on trucking :) 

my Something Blue VoxBox came in!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeep! i'm sooo excited! my something blue voxbox came in! i've been waiting for one for months! this is my second, and i hope for many many more! 

www.influenster.com

check it out ^^^^^

i did receive these products complimentary, for review purpose only.

Something Blue VoxBox included:

• Luster Premium White full size tube of tooth paste! apparently it's supposed to whiten your teeth after one brushing, we will see...and i'm very excited about this product!
• 2 travel size packs of Precision tip Q-tips! love love love these! very very excited!
• 2 packs of Kiss Ever EZ Lashes! each pack as 2 pair and an applicator so a total of 4 pair and 2 applicators! i wore them to work last night and I've never had so many compliments!!!
• 1 pack of Urgent Rx Fast Powders...never seen these, but i'm curious! i get head aches all the time, so i hope it works!
• Dr. Scholl's woman's ball of foot cushion! i hate how uncomfortable my heels are by the end of the work day, so tomorrow it's on!!!
• and lastly coupons! the extreme coupon-er that lives inside my soul was very very excited about this! there's four for Luster Premium White! and one coupon for kiss lashes! and a brochure and challenge for My trio rings! oh my they are gorgeous!

i already am married, but this VoxBox was awesome! love everything I've tried and can't wait to try what i haven't! happy reviews to you! 

Happy Father's Day.

In this day in age...it's rare to have a father in your life...even though it hasn't been the best relationship....I'm grateful that he's here on this earth and I'm able to say I can talk to him whenever I want. He walked me down the isle and everything changed. For the first time I felt that he genuinely care about his only baby girl and that day changed out relationship forever.  Thank you for coming back into my life daddy.

I've never had a blog before so bare with me, I'm new at this...

It's always been hard for me to talk or write about myself, but I'll try my best...

My name is Lindsay, but you can call me LuLu. I'm twenty-two years old. I have a few very important people in my life that I will talk about frequently, so let me introduce them now...

• Randal-aka-Ranpoopie, Randoodle, Ranbooboo- my husband, and the love of my life. We got married in October of 2012,I love him with everything I am, even though he's the biggest pain in my butt. He thinks he knows everything about everything, and I've learned to not tell him otherwise. He's a Volkswagen enthusiast, and he has a glorious beard in which I love.
• Emily-aka-Em, Emery, or my L.P. (life partner)- She's been my best friend for almost five years, her and her three kids are my family, at the lowest point in my life, she opened her door to me and put a roof over my head, and food in my stomach. She has shown me what true friendship is. We spend a lot of time together, and can laugh for hours and no one will ever understand us or our sense of humor. We've been to hell and back together and will continue to hold each other's hands through life's hardest trials and tests that are thrown our way.
• Mom- I'm lucky to say we're best friends, and I'm lucky she's alive, I've almost lost her twice, once to cancer, and once to an awful accident, she was the victim of a hit and run on her bicycle and broke almost every bone on the right side of her body, but she still wakes up everyday with a smile on her face and a positive outlook on life. She'e the strongest, most grounded woman I've ever met, she encourages me to be a better person and love life.

These three are my rocks in life, they have molded me into the person i am today. I try to live by example. I try to be the best person i can possibly be, and my two favorite things in the world are love and laughter, because without these, the world would be a darker place. I want to live my life with purpose, I want to make a mark on this earth, and i want to make a difference, even if in a few people's lives, it's what I strive for. I like to think of my self as a free spirit, a free spirit whom is diagnosed with O.C.D...so as free as i can be. I'm not a clean freak, nor I don't check the locks 12 times before leaving the house, which doesn't mean i don't have ticks. I just have a lot going on in my head and sometimes have a hard time turning it off is all. I tend to obsess on things for no apparent purpose...

•  Driving- I have certain streets I avoid, and if I do decide (which is a rarity) to take the freeway, I like the second lane from the right, not the slow lane but the next one...
•  Teeth Brushing- if one hand gets wet I have to wet the other...and after brushing my teeth I have to blow my nose. 
• Lists- everything i do, i make a list. Magnetic notepads are all over my fridge.

These things may sound odd to you, but it's who I am, and if I can learn to cope, so can you.

I'm learning new things everyday, and I love to write about my thoughts, feelings,and depth on this journey called life. I thought a blog would be a step in the right direction for me...

With Love,

LuLu